🐶 About Artie #
Artie is a lazy lap dog who looks like a teddy bear, will do most things for a banana, and is a pretty good pub dog.
Also answers to: Artemis (the full name), and "Artie, come!" when there's a banana involved.
She's robust. She's not precious about what she eats, she's very well house-trained, and she's happy on her own for five hours or so. The rest of this page is detail; the cheat sheet below is the short version.
The cheat sheet
- Food2 scoops of dry food a dayAround 10am and 5pm, with a splash of water. Flexible.
- Walks1 a day, 30–60 minClissold Park off lead if she knows you well, otherwise a good sniffy walk on the lead.
- Recall"Artie, come!"Bring a banana. Seriously.
- Poo o'clockAround 10amShe'll yelp or whine when she needs to go out.
- Wee command"Be quick!"Sometimes she listens.
- Home aloneUp to ~5 hoursFeed her, or give her a Lickimat or Dentastix, and leave while she's busy.
- Fixes most thingsTime on a bedHer favourite place in the world.
- Hard no'sChicken bones, grapes, chocolateThese will kill her.
- EmergencyNaomi & Michael on WhatsAppNumbers and the vet are below.
Things to know
- 🧸
She looks like a teddy bear. Strangers and small children will want to say hello. She's not great with children under 10, so it's fine to tell them she's nervous and to leave her alone.
- 🛋️
Lazy lap dog. She wants to be wherever you are, ideally on you, until she overheats and relocates to the floor.
- 🐕
Fairly unsociable with other dogs. She'll happily tell off dogs that bother her, but every so often she enjoys a game of chase.
- 🍺
Pretty good pub dog. Take her along.
- 🔊
A little reactive to loud noises. Easily fixed with a few training commands and some treats. See Nerves.
- 💪
Robust. Not precious about food, very well house-trained, and fine on her own for around five hours.
🍽️ Food #
Two scoops of dry pellet food a day, made into a cereal with a bit of water. We aim for around 10am and around 5pm, but those are targets, not deadlines.
| When | What | Notes |
|---|---|---|
| ~10am | 1 scoop dry pellets + a splash of water you do this | Mix it into a "cereal". 10am is the target; a bit either side is fine. |
| ~5pm | 1 scoop dry pellets + a splash of water you do this | Same again, aiming for 5pm. That's her two scoops for the day. |
| Daily | Fresh water you do this | She has a huge water bowl. We refill it daily, although it doesn't usually run out between fills. |
| Whenever | Treats go for it | As many as needed for comfort or good behaviour. Her base food is deliberately a little low so there's room for treats. See the treat tier list. |
| Chews | Dentastix or a cow's ear optional | She loves Dentastix, although they take her seconds. A cow's ear lasts longer, but she's less keen on them than she used to be. |
These will kill her. Otherwise we're not precious about what she eats (and she's definitely not). She's robust, and we wouldn't worry about anything else.
🌳 Walks #
One walk a day, 30 minutes to an hour depending on how much energy she burns.
- 🌳
The basics. We normally take her to Clissold Park and let her off the lead. Only do that if she's properly familiar with you, which means she runs up to you when she spots you in the distance. If she's not there yet, a decent length of time on the lead with lots of sniffing will do just fine.
- ➕
Second walk? We often do one, particularly if the first was short, but it isn't necessary while you only have her for a few days.
- ☀️
Hot weather. Try not to walk her during the hottest part of the day. Bring her water bottle, which turns into a bowl for on-the-go drinks.
- 🧒
Children under 10. She's not great with them, but she looks like a teddy bear so they sometimes try to approach. If one is heading for her, just tell them she's nervous and to leave her alone.
- 🐕
Other dogs. She's fairly unsociable and will happily tell off dogs that bother her. Every so often she enjoys a game of chase.
📣 Recall & Off the Lead #
Recall is decent most of the time, but some days she just decides to ignore you. Your best chance is to bring her favourite treats (a banana is the best) and make sure she knows you have them.
- 🔒
Does she know you well enough? The test is whether she runs up to you when she sees you in the distance. If she doesn't do that yet, letting her off the lead is probably a bad idea. Keep her on it.
- 🌿
Big, grassy and enclosed, where you can keep eyes on her: she'll come back eventually.
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Wooded areas: she gets over-excited. We'd keep her on a long lead.
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Fences and hedges. She has a history of finding holes in fences and no respect for hedges, so keep an eye on her when she's off the lead even if it's enclosed.
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Play. She likes sticks, LOVES feathers, and couldn't care less about balls. You can work her up to chase something by playing keep-away.
- 🍺
Pub. She's a pretty good pub dog.
🏠 Toilet & House Rules #
She's very well house-trained. She's never peed in our house, and only pooped a couple of times overnight when she was unwell early on.
- 💩
Poo o'clock is around 10am, assuming she ate a normal amount the day before. Once a day.
- 🗣️
She'll tell you. A yelp or some whining means she needs to go out.
- ⏳
New place, new rules. She likes to explore a new place thoroughly, and giving her free roam to get the measure of it is normally enough for her to settle. She might be confused about where she's supposed to go to the toilet at first. Just stand with her for a few minutes and she'll get to it. After a day or so she'll understand what's going on when you take her out and stand there.
- 🗨️
"Be quick!" is the peeing command we're training. Sometimes she listens…
- 🌱
Grass over paving. She always prefers peeing on grass, but if she needs it enough she's not too choosy.
- 🌙
Overnight. She can happily go 8 to 11 hours without needing the loo. We let her out last thing before bed and first thing in the morning, and she rarely wakes us before we get up.
🛋️ Sofa, Beds & Bedtime #
She's a lazy lap dog. She basically wants to be with you on the sofa, until she overheats and wants to be on the floor.
- 🚫
Furniture you'd rather keep dog-free? She'll follow a treat onto the floor, and a stern "Off" goes a long way too. Failing all of that, just pick her up and put her somewhere else. She gets the point eventually.
- 🛏️
Beds. Her favourite place in the world is on a bed, but she doesn't sleep with us at home. There's no need for her to sleep with you, unless you actually want her to, in which case she won't believe her luck.
Bedtime routine
- Take her out for a last pee.
- Walk her to her bed.
- A couple of strokes with the light off.
- That's it. She'll rarely wake you before you get up.
Sleeping spots
- 🛏️Any bedwon't believe her luck
- 🧍On youon the sofa, until she overheats
- 🧺Her own bedwhere she actually sleeps
- 🛋️Sofa, soloacceptable
- 🧊The floorthe overheating exit
🚪 Leaving Her Home Alone #
She can easily be left home alone for five hours or so.
- Make sure she's peed.
- Give her something to eat: a meal (dry food without water mixed in), a Lickimat, or a Dentastix. A cow's ear won't do the job here.
- Leave while she's eating.
She doesn't mind you being out. She just doesn't like you leaving. If she's busy eating, she won't notice.
🔊 Loud Noises & Nerves #
She can be a little reactive to loud noises, but it's easily fixed.
- 🎓
Distract her. Sometimes our upstairs neighbours are really loud. A few training commands and some treats and she settles down.
- 📺
Background noise. Put on some music or the TV and she can't really tell.
- 🛏️
Worst case. Some time on the bed sorts out an upset Artie.
🛁 Baths #
You shouldn't need to wash her. We'll bring her freshly cleaned.
- 🛁
If you want or need to, she's very good at being washed in the bath.
- 🥶
She gets very cold and shivery when wet. Towel her off, then play tug with a toy to warm her up afterwards.
🧸 Toy Tier List #
She has some toys she loves to play tug with. Out and about, she likes sticks, LOVES feathers, and couldn't care less about balls.
- 🪶FeathersLOVES
- 🪢Tug toysalso warms her up after a bath
- 🌿Sticks
- 🏃Keep-awayworks her up to a chase
- 🎾Ballscouldn't care less
Favourite distractions
- 🥜
Lickimat with peanut butter.
- 🥚
The orange egg thing with some dry kibble inside.
- 📦
An egg carton with treats hidden between bits of kitchen paper.
🍌 Treat Tier List #
As many as needed for comfort or good behaviour. Her base food is a little low on purpose, so we can give her as many treats as we like.
- 🍌Bananathe best recall bribe
- 🦴Dentastixloves them · gone in seconds
- 🥜Lickimatwith peanut butter
- 🍚Dry kibblein the orange egg thing
- 🐄Cow's earused to be the favourite · less fussed now
- Honestly, most things. She's not precious.
- 🍗Chicken bones
- 🍇Grapes
- 🍫Chocolate
- These will kill her.
🚨 Emergencies & Contacts #
We'll be very contactable on WhatsApp.
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NaomiNumber appears here
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MichaelNumber appears here
I'm sure it won't, but in the event of an emergency her vet is Village Vet Hampstead. They're open all day, every day. We'll obviously cover any charge for getting to or from there.
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Village Vet Hampstead020 7794 4948 11 Belsize Terrace, London NW3 4AX
📸 Gallery #
Tap a photo to see it bigger.
Thank you!!!
Naomi, Michael & Artie 🐾